“When you lose sight or belief in yourself, we’re done for… I use the definition of Self-confidence to be the ability or the belief to believe in yourself, to accomplish any task, no matter the odds, no matter the difficulty, no matter the adversity. The belief that you can accomplish it.”– Dr Ivan Joseph, an accomplished varsity soccer coach.
I once met a beautiful and brilliant young lady who told me: “I have many dreams. I think about a lot of stuffs I want to achieve. They are numerous. In fact, the picture of where I want to be in the future sometimes gives me sleepless nights, but there is a problem which I’ve been struggling to overcome for years. And that’s the feeling that I’m not brilliant enough, that I don’t have what it takes to realise these beautiful dreams of mine.”
“Above all,” she said, “is the fact that I easily feel threatened and scared to face crowd.” She concluded by saying “Once there are more than two or three strangers, I find it almost impossible to deliver my thoughts smoothly. Sometimes, this gets me depressed and annoyed at the same time.”
Frankly speaking, we all need self-confidence to excel in life. We really need to believe in ourselves and our abilities to transform our dreams into realities. Although building self-confidence could be challenging atimes, but it’s crucial that we build it. Naturally, we were all born with it, but for one reason or the other, a lot of people lose theirs while growing up.
Considering that you’re the only type of your kind— no other person has the exact type of your fingerprints, eyeballs, shape of the head, type of hair strands , and character etc (no two persons are the same, they can only be identical)— then you should be self-confident because you’re UNIQUE. You’ve got an incredible brain with billions of neurons that could perform magical feats within milliseconds. So why are you unconfident? Why are you always anxious? Why are you limiting your God-given power?
After coaching Miss X (as she prefers anonymity) for a few weeks, she began to rewrite her own story. Within months, this once timid young lady found herself on the podium speaking to about two thousand (2000) students in a most inspiring manner. So if you’re also determined to build your self-confidence, please be patient enough to carefully read through this short piece to the last letter. Do not only read, also digest the tips and act on them.
Always talk to yourself
Self-motivation is the greatest from of encouragement. Whenever you’re to face a daunting task, perhaps the one you fear most, always remind yourself of your capabilities. Think about your ‘little success stories’—the challenges you’ve overcome in the past, no matter how small you believe they are. If you’re scared of speaking to a group of 10 people, kindly flash back to that time when you once spoke to a group of 2 or 3 people. It’s the same YOU operating under different circumstances, so be courageous enough to overcome your fear and act.
Every day, always affirm: “I’m the captain of my ship and master of my fate.” If you don’t talk to the ‘inner you’, who will?
Be confident in failure
While many people lose their self-confidence because they’re scared of failing, others find it difficult to manage their failure. Know candidly that you can’t succeed well without first failing. In fact, failure is part of success.
Whenever you fail, try and learn as many lessons as you can, reinvent the wheel, and try again. Compared to someone who has never attempted the task you failed, you’re better-off. That means you’re even more experienced. And by extension, more confident! With this winning attitude, you’d always be self-confident to face any task (be it in school, business, career, or politics) or approach anyone (including your own boss or a highly regarded personality).
Always repeat what you fear most
Repetition is the ultimate rule of the game. Keep working on that skill or competence or quality which you’d love to possess or develop (despite your fears). Do it over and over and over again [everyday at every available opportunity]. With time, your confidence at doing it will be topnotch.
It’d be impossible to achieve anything tangible in life without self-confidence, so get on the wheels and begin to apply these simple tips. I believe they will be of help. Live your dreams to the fullest; never allow any task or anyone deny you of your innate power. Be confident, all the time. It’s in you.